A Requiem- Dec 2013

Heed the requiem of those who came before!

They beckon with open hearts.

Quiet your soul to hear their warm adore.

Feel no sadness to depart.

For you shall live forever,

in the hearts of those you've touched.

May your journey be without bane,

for you walk among ancestors.

May you rest away from pain

and feast in revelry of yore

for you shall meet again.  

Overwhelmed- 29 Apr 2000

Overwhelmed
I am so overwhelmed
My mind could not take it
It felt it had to split
Too many obligations
Too much stress
I am losing everything
My mind, objects, sanity
All that is important
Nothing is right for me
Nothing ever will be
Until I am truly free
I need relaxation
I need to get away

Have-to's- 29 Apr 2000

Life is full of have-to's
Have-to move
Have-to study
Have-to go to school
Have-to go to work
It's almost impossible not to
impossible not to have-to
It's my senior year
I don't want any have-to's
I want to have fun
There's no fun with have-to's
No time for friends
No time for my lover
No time for anything
No time with have-to's
No life with have-to's
There is one thing I have-to do
I have-to be free

Must Escape- 17 Apr 2000

Must get away
Must leave this hell
The hell called home
18 years of being a doormat
18 years of everyone's crap
Must leave and be happy
Must leave and be free
Why do I have to stay?
Because they're family?
Because I'm obligated?
That's bullshit!
Their mistreatment
Caused me to explode
Mainly at my love
Whom I cherish more than life
Stay there my ass!
I will escape
I will be free
I will be happy

The Scapegoat- 16 Apr 2000

Born a scapegoat
Be a scapegoat
Die a scapegoat
That is my destiny
I am good for nothing else
That's the reason I am alive
For people to abuse
For people to walk over
For people to relieve their frustrations
I have no other purpose
Why hope for more?
This is my destiny
To be the world's scapegoat.

Why Care?- 7 Apr 2000

Why should I care anymore?
What's the use in caring?
Everyday something new,
Everyday a new problem,
Everyday back to court,
Everyday a new trigger;
A trigger to set off the explosion.
It will never end.
I used to care about them.
I used to have anxiety attacks.
Then I stopped caring.
Why care anymore?
What good does it do?

The Calm Before the Storm- 30 Mar 2000

Life is well again
No fights, no problems
It is almost too quiet
It is almost too good
Possibly the calm before the storm
Waiting to break loose
Waiting to wreak havoc
Any minute, any day
It will come again
It will destroy my peace
Destroy my sanity
Which I am slowly regaining
When will it come?
No one knows
Til then it waits
Is this the calm before the storm?
Or is life finally going well?